Plans of Action
by St. Danger
Summary: Yu-Gi-Oh! the Abridged Series Universe. We all know Bakura was injured and had Wanker's Cramp - the most deadly of British diseases! But there is a little more to the story. Takes place after episode 33 and before episode 34. Oneshot.


**Title: **Plans of Action  
**Posted On: **February 6th 2010  
**Pairing(s):** Mild hints at Marik/Bakura.  
**Summary****: **We all know Bakura was injured and had Wanker's Cramp (the most deadly of British diseases!) but there is a little more to the story. Takes place after episode 33 and before episode 34.  
**Genres:** Humour  
**Rating****: **T / PG-13  
**Warning(s): **Language  
**Word Count: **687  
**Author's Notes:** I've yet to find a fanfic for Yu-Gi-Oh! the Abridged Series, and the idea hit me while I watched season 2 for the umpteenth time (it never stops being funny!). I hopefully will be writing more YGOtAS fanfics, and I also hope this encourages the fanbase to join in. There sure are enough of us, we might as well have fun with it! Otherwise, there's not much to say. Please let me know what you think. :) EDIT: fixed a few typos and sentences, which bumped up the word count. Sneaky little buggers - I need a beta! XD

Dedicated to LittleKuriboh. The world is forever funnier and more fun thanks to you and your super-special-awesomeness.

* * *

The two villains were standing in the alleyway. They had decided to team up, but the most difficult part still had to be done...

Agreeing on a plan of action.

"So, what is this scheme of yours, Marik?" Bakura asked, his arms folded obstinately over his chest.

Marik shrugged. "Well, I don't know! It was my idea for us to team up so we can plot against the Pharaoh and his pesky little Yugi. It's _your _turn to come up with something."

Bakura let out a small growl, more than a little frustrated. He was starting to regret ever agreeing to this. "Fine. How about we-"

"OH OH! I've got it!"

The white haired Brit resisted a powerful urge to smack his Egyptian ally, settling instead for a curt growl. "What?"

"I know exactly what to do! First, you injure yourself. Graaaavely. And then-"

"Hold on a minute I'm not going to _gravely injure_ myself because _you're_ too much of a twit to come up with a better plan!"

Marik pouted, something Bakura found deeply amusing, and continued on in a sulky tone. "Let me finish, Kitty! I'm not done yet!"

Bakura narrowed his eyes dangerously. "It's a good thing you're pretty or I would have to send you to the Shadow Realm for calling me that." he snarled venemously.

There was a pause.

"You think I'm pretty?" Marik asked in a child-like voice. It was difficult to tell whether he was be serious or mocking.

"MARIK!"

"Alright, alright! Jeez, _somebody_ fell out of the bed this morning."

Bakura shot him a very dark and nasty glare, having the desired effect of making the effeminate villain hastily continue on with his explanation.

"So yes, anyways, my plan is that you injure yourself, _gravely_. We will find Yugi's friends and I will help you, and prove to be trustworthy to Yugi's little friends, thus allowing me to become a part of their group! They'll never suspect a thing until I choose to strike! Meanwhile, my Steves will be watching them, waiting until I give an order to enact my other plan, the one I already told you about."

Bakura sighed, indeed remembering Marik's idea to pit the Pharaoh against his friends and brainwash them by legally changing their names to Steve, and to have Marik trick Yugi and his friends into believing he was a good person, which is where he supposed this plan came into play. Marik's friend, Oddie or something, would pretend to be Marik to help avoid suspicion. _That_plan had some promise. "Alright, it doesn't sound too bloody awful. But what do I while your doing all this?"

"Uhhhhh... Lie in the hospital bed until you're better?" the childish, somewhat meek tone was back with full force. Bakura was having trouble deciding whether Marik did it on purpose or if it was some odd quirk to his personality. He also was having trouble deciding if he cared or not.

"Sooooo, what do you think?"

He was going with not caring.

"Well, Marik, as much fun as this all sounds, I'm afraid I'm going to have to disagree with your little plan."

Marik immediately interrupted, his voice higher with shock. "But, but, but-"

"Butts are for kicking and sitting." Bakura snapped. "Give me one good reason why I should hospitalize myself so you can prance around pretending to be trustworthy!"

...

"...I'll give you a hug..."

Bakura started to walk away.

"WAIT!" Marik yelped, grabbing his arm and attempting to haul him back to his original spot. "I'll give you my Millennium Rod once I win all three Egyptian God cards!"

Bakura halted and swiveled around to face his new partner-in-crime, who immediately leaned backwards impossibly far. "I'll have your word on this?"

Marik nodded and stood straight again. "You have my word."

The spirit of the Millennium Ring paused for a moment, thinking it over. "...Fine. But if I don't get your Millennium Rod there won't be anyplace in this realm or any other where you can hide." his brown eyes narrowed in warning and his Millennium Ring glowed to emphasis the severity of his threat.

Marik was rather unfazed. "Yes, yes, whatever. Now all we have to do is decide how you're going to be gravely injured."

Bakura grinned rather devilishly. "I know the perfect method..."

* * *

**Short, I know. I couldn't help it. I just had to write this, it's been a plot bunny gnawing at the hem of my jeans for like two months now. Again, I hope to write more of these in the future - if anyone has ideas/suggestions let me know! **

**I want reviews for this one. I have never read an Abridged fic (if you know of any, PLEASE TELL ME WHERE) so I really sort of winged it. I had no clue how to go about this. So I'd really like some feedback on this - how I could improve it, any mistakes, what you liked and/or didn't like, what worked, what didn't, etc. Any typos or grammatical errors or anything of the like can and will be fixed if anyone lets me know, okay? :) I try my best to properly re-read my fics but I'm not perfect.**

**I'm going to stop now before my notes become longer than the fic itself. Thanks for reading - I really appreciate it and I hope you enjoyed it! :D**


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